I Think I Was Being Punished

I arrived at the airport this morning for a quick trip to Green Bay to attend and participate in a motions hearing. Quick flight out, kick some ass, grab a quick return home. The flight is only about 50 minutes of airtime each way so time in the air would be minimal. So I'm sitting in my tiny seat smushed in next to the window. The plane had two seats on each side and about 14 rows so basically everyone was separated by about ten inches of seat space.

As we are waiting to taxi, these two women behind me start talking. Not with quiet talk amongst ourselves voices but with I want everyone to hear our conversation voices - the problem exacerbated by the fact that the two women were on different sides of the aisle. The entire conversation consisted of middle management speak and employed such terms as "organic," "functionality," "rolling out," and "training packages." For fifty minutes I had to listen to this and couldn't for the life of me figure out what exactly they did. I was so distracted by their conversation that I had to secretly cheat on my Sudoku puzzle long before I usually do.

As I "deplaned," I got a look at the offenders. Let's call them Mary Kay and Miss Texas. They were peroxided and lip glossed to within an inch of their lives and were wearing their best St. John knitwear suits to boot.

After a long day, I make my way back to the airport. Who should show up for the return flight this evening? Yup, Mary Kay and Miss Texas. I boarded before them and waited to see where they would land. As luck or bad luck would have it, they ended up behind me again. Miss Texas needed her notepad, just in case she and Mary Kay came up with brilliant ideas while on the plane. Again they discussed today's presentation and again, it remained unclear as to what exactly they were presenting. This evening's buzz words were "training opportunities." Soon Mary Kay and Miss Texas grew bored with constantly talking about "business" and the apparent rigors of being career business women and began to generally talk and talk and talk. Did you know Mary Kay has a 3 year old daughter who is really advanced? Apparently she separated her stickers into these different piles although it was unclear if there was a discernable pattern to the piles. Miss Texas wants to take time off this summer to spend more time boating with her husband Derek and her daughter.

I guess my question, beyond what exactly these women do for a living, is why do people lack the ability to converse in a quiet voice so as not to disturb others? Was it for my benefit? Did they find themselves so fascinating that they felt compelled to share their lives' work with the entire plane? I'm just afraid when I fly back out to Green Bay in two weeks that I'll run into them again. If that happens, I'll know that I'm being punished.