Spellcheck Makes You Look Stupid

I drafted this email to opposing counsel (two different attorneys) and while spellchecking the email, I see that the first two letters of the word are capitalized. I quickly click change and send out the email.

This is what the re: of the email now read "Case Name - Joint Preheating Statement." I feel like an idiot ... damned spellcheck.

Minnesota Meerkat Madness

If you haven't been watching The Animal Planet's show Meerkat Manor, you really should consider catching a few episodes. It chronicles the Whiskers family, a meerkat colony in Africa, and their relationships and familial structure. It's great to know that meerkats have the capacity to have dysfunctional families too - it's kind of like Knots Landing but with less shoulder pads. Plus, meerkats are adorable in that mongoose sort of way - unlike ferrets which are disgusting revolting vile creatures. (One time, during a fire drill in college during a rain storm, this nasty hippie dippie woman crawled into Zoopie's mighty Dodge Omni with her wet ferret - the whole car smelled like ferret and patchouli (which masked the cow manure smells usually found in Zoopie's car) - Gross! Anyway, you must love the meerkat.

Here's what has made me mad today. Some inattentive asshole parents and their ill-behaved demon spawn went to the Minnesota Zoo. Mind you, inattentive asshole parents and demon spawn are quite common at the Zoo so there is nothing new there. A 9 year old girl (yes, she was 9 years old!) decides to crawl up on a three foot rock formation, reach over a four foot glass wall, and pet the adorable meerkat. What I find appalling is that the parents either weren't paying attention (bad parents) or allowed her to do this (even worse parents). Guess what, a meerkat bit the little girl.

The inattentive asshole parents freak. The meerkats had been vaccinated for rabies and are unlikely carriers of the disease. What to do? The parents, who are responsible for the whole thing, didn't want their daughter to have to undergo a series of rabies shots. Instead, the Zoo had the entire family of 5 meerkats destroyed to test for rabies. Guess what? They didn't have rabies.

Sorry, if you're stupid enough to stick your hand in an animal's cage, you pay the consequences. If that means getting six shots (one in the wound and five on your thigh), then you get the shots. Hey little girl, boo fucking hoo, I hope the bite fucking hurts and leaves a giant scar and that you can never watch The Lion King without reliving the trauma and shitting your pants.

An Apology ... Sort of

I have been a bad blogger. I apologize. The past two months, life became rather hectic and I became distracted from blogging. It's not to say that many things didn't pop into my tiny little mind that I thought would have been good fodder for the blog (blog + fodder = blodder?), it's just I was feeling really lazy. Then, the passage of time compounded the problem. It's the phenomenon where too much time goes by to take some action and now it's just too uncomfortable because merely taking action acknowledges how much time goes by. Anyway, I'm over that and I solemnly vow to be better about boring friends and strangers with the mundane details of my life and my sporadic rambling thoughts.

Mea culpa.